Yesterday reminded me of the day, when I took a train to Frankfurt – together with a friend – catching it just about, running along the platform and jumping aboard without a valid ticket. We waited for the man in uniform and when he arrived, instead of selling me a ticket, he just handed me a bill for fare dodging. It wasn’t due to the amount being eight times as much as the ticket would have been, but because I never ever fare dodge (!) that I my eyes filled with tears and I couldn’t stop them until we had to get out. Life’s hard, when you keep on trying being honest and descent, but you still get you’re ass kicked all the time. I felt incredibly misjudged. So I sat there and wept and my friend looked at me and I felt stupid and mollycoddled and I still just couldn’t bring myself to smile and take it easy.
The same as yesterday, when someone, I didn’t ask to do so, told me, that he was going out and moving in with someone else. I surely don’t want him back, but my mood clouded so fast, it took me hours to sort myself out. I hate it, when my mind seems alright and strides ahead and leaves this black tangled heart of mine far behind in a bittersweet symphony. Arrgh.
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