maggisfarm

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This morning I woke up and my vaio gave me a strange look. Yawning and handing me my coffee pot it revealed the date of the day, February the 8^th.

One year ago …

We sat in my room and he chose this for the moment to tell me about the things that bothered him and that I had hoped to not bother me for a long time.

It was the old story of you know, we are very different and I can’t imagine living with you because the way you are is just … you would hurt me, you say things that make me feel sad and confused, you don’t take us serious, you’re not as much committed as me, if we would go on you would lose me on the way and so on…

I was struck. I told him I knew myself for quite some time and I knew my dedication was very limited. I told him, I wouldn’t be able to change on the spot and I also told him, that his decision was my decision and if we wouldn’t be able to carry on, we would just call it a day – as we did.

The whole story didn’t let go of me and I mulled over it for some days only to find out, that he talked about me while I talked about me, too.

Maybe I was the wrench in the works but I was also 50 percent of the couple and I can be as good a partner as the other 50 percent, upon condition that both halves fit well. He said give me your hand and I gave it to him. He didn’t say may I have your hand please. Now that he wants to let go, what am I suppose to do? Cling fast on him?

After our talk I went on a short trip walking the mountains in some deserted area on my own just to catch up with myself. I wrote him a postcard saying Look at you! And the Card dated the 8^th of Feb.